It's a nice day. The sky was clear. The weather warm; a bit too warm for my liking, but enjoyable nonetheless. Too soon it will be cold, and my body will yearn for the inescapable heat.
I woke up to a tired body. I didn't mind having to get up and go to work, other than my fatigue. I needed more sleep, more rest, more calories. Sighing, I swung my legs to the floor and began my morning routine.
I debated and decided on taking a shower. I took a moment to admire my body in the bathroom mirror. I'm lean and muscular now. My arms, shoulders, back, and legs are stronger than ever before. I had to look into my eyes to acknowledge that this body really did belong to me. Did I feel like an adult? I certainly wasn't a child or teenager any more. Is this how old people look in the mirror one day and suddenly realize the wrinkled face looking back is theirs? Flexing my muscles, I felt both their soreness and strength. I'm at a healthy weight. I'm not underweight; I'm not overweight. My thighs may be bigger, my mind may play tricks on my mind, but they are tree trunks, not flubber. I wonder how my body will change as I train to be a firefighter. Looking back at my face, I tried loving it. Yes, I still have scabs and scars from years of picking at the skin. Maybe I can let my face heal; my body has, and maybe it's time for my face to match the rest of me. I took ahold of the end of my hair. Seeing the dead ends, I made a mental note to get a haircut soon. And with that, I stepped into the shower.
As I stood in the white-tiled shower-tub, I thought of how fortunate I am. I don't have to worry about job, food, or housing security. I thought of high school me, showering in my bathroom in Northwest Arkansas. What was the orientation of the shower? Ah, if I was standing facing away from the water jet, Id've been facing South. Right now, I was facing North. I wondered if this deep sense of fortune and gratitude was another factor in isolating me from my schoolmates. I had been to the mountains of Guatemala as a nine year old. How could I enjoy my place in suburbia when I could have been born in a different society? Their way of life wasn't any less, either. Was suburbia the gold standard? Why care about fashion or celebrities or tv shows? Aware of my place in the space time continuum, I felt alone.
Blinking, I was back in my shower in Ohio in 2024. How do I want my life to be built now that I have more freedom than ever in shaping it? Will this be my job as a writer, to inspire others to break out of the stereotypical American cultural mold? Do I want to be a therapist, a pastor, a firefighter? Or are those jobs to pay the bills?
I turned off the water and grabbed my towel, stepping out of the shower.
How do I appreciate the present while working on my future-oriented goals? This is where my habit of reading daily in the Bible was helpful. Jesus reminds me to be a servant to others, to slow down and really experience life with them. We are all children of God. We are all equal, whether that has been made just yet. Yes, I'm just going to work today, another line on my to do list. But perhaps while I'm there, I can love the customers and my coworkers as people.
As I stepped back into my bedroom to get dressed, my mind filled with my pre-leaving the house checklist. I had twenty too quick minutes to get out the door.
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