Rest

Thursday

TMS

Therapy

A Final Exam

Friday

Work in the evening

Saturday

Work in the morning

Sunday

An attempt at church

And work in the evening

Monday

The dentist

Errands

Group therapy

Suicidal ideation to close the night

A phone call with a friend

Tuesday

Work before dawn - receiving the truck

Therapy again

Rest

Wednesday

Work before dawn - recovering aisles

Rest, so much rest

Thursday

TMS Sorting journal papers by year

Therapy (yes more)

And rest

As the days get darker,

My body is slowing down

I'm not sad, I'm not empty

I'm just low on battery

My body doesn't want to do more than the bare minimum

It's weary of overworking and becoming more weary, more broken

So, I slumber

Lying in bed, I am grateful

For this peaceful rest

This quiet

The tension leaving my muscles, my arms and my legs

My back sinking into the mattress

My jaw unclenching

My breathing slowing and deepening

Finding the rhythm Hobbes already has

As he slumbers in the chair next to my bed

I wonder what he dreams of

I dream of my loved ones

My grandma and grandpa

My friend in London

My ex therapist

I can't be with them in person

But I can be with them in spirit

For they are with me

I am not alone

I don't want to be alone

But I'm too tired to be around others

I don't want to talk

I just want to be

Still

Breathe

Being a source of love for myself

Stirring warm feelings of comfort

Imagining hugs

I

Fall

Asleep

Perhaps this season is teaching me a new rhythm, a new speed of being

Slow and steady does it

Mindful of the present

Allowing the emotions to change like the weather

The tide, the clouds, the storms, the rain

The sun will shine, a rainbow fades

The wind picks up, blowing warmth, blowing cold

The trees dance, the birds fly

The sun continues on its track across the sky

The night appears

A blanket of darkness

Still blessed as just as good

I sleep. I stretch.

I walk. I sit.

I think and therefore I am.

I feel.

I rest.

Being human isn't complicated,

Society is